We have all found ourselves in awkward situations at some point in life.  What you say at such times can take a bad situation and make it much worse.  The late humorist Erma Bombeck wrote of a novice preacher who tried to console mourners at a funeral by saying of the deceased: "This is only the shell--the nut is gone!"

      Many people can identify with that preacher.  "I never know what to say at the funeral home.  I want to say something, but I don't want to sound stupid or unfeeling."   Such fears are well-founded: I've heard more than one bereaved soul say, "If one more person says, 'Cheer up: they're in a better place' I'm going to scream!"

      "Foot-in-mouth" disease is not a new thing.  People have been struggling with finding the right words for centuries.   In the case of dealing with the loss of a loved one I think the Apostle Paul offers the best advice.   In Romans 12:15 he writes simply, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn."

In both cases, rejoicing and mourning, what counts is not the words but our actions!  You can rejoice with someone by giving them a hearty pat on the back.   You can mourn with someone by wordlessly giving them a hug, or simply crying with them.  Truth be told, most people will never remember what you say at a funeral home: they are too busy coping with their grief and with the large numbers of friends and family who come to call.  They won't remember what you say..but they will remember that you were there--and that you showed you cared.  In times of grief people don't need a sermon, they need a friend.

      I write this because it is highly likely that you will find yourself in a grief situation at some point in this year.   Don't worry about coming up with a good speech.   Work on your caring instead.

See you soon.

Bill